Mother Rose
by QteCuttlfish
Summary: The master manipulator was himself manipulated. My first fanfic. Based on my own poem "The Rose." Disclaimer: Utena doesn't belong to me.


I watch and I wait, knowing truth that others will not see.  I know what even **he does not know …I have foreseen all happenings.  I knew what Revolution really was.  He refused to know, and so, lost them both…both pawns that he dearly loved, as much as one such as he can love.  My heart bleeds, though…No one deserved to know anguish of losing one whom deserved admiration, but compensation helps.  ****She escaped him, because of the other, the prince who wasn't a prince, releasing the others from his prisons.  Without his soulless Bride, he is nothing…less than that, even.  And he knows that…fighting every step of the way, but knowing it, deep inside, the part of him that once was known as Dios…the part he ignored to "escape" and become Akio…Oh, my son, if only you'd followed what your heart told you, all your heartache would have been avoided, and you would not now be in danger of becoming a soulless shell, like Anthy once was.**

            I had to save her, my son…I had to save her from you, yet you were the main tool I used to accomplish that.  I pray that one-day you will forgive me that…of course, you don't even know who I am, nor what I can do.  No one does.  I hide in the one place you look not for me…I take sanctuary in the very thing you destroy, in countless duels…perhaps not you personally, but your pawns…the Student Council.  You will never know this, but your manipulative streak comes from me…I have used you and Anthy, my own children, far worse than you ever have.  Still, you acted upon my will, unknowingly, unthinkingly…though you didn't have to fall so easily.  Your soul was passed to me from the moment you allowed Anthy to take all the punishment from your own sins…the Swords of Hate slashed for you, my son, as you always knew, yet you permitted her to take them upon herself.  Through that action, my son, you'd already forfeited any right you'd previously had to the powers that came with being a prince…I think you knew it, which even remotely explains why you didn't fight my compulsion for you to find the prince who was not a prince, and control circumstances to bring her within your world…of course, you thought Dios was vanquished, forever.  How could you have known I'd locked that part of you away…your soul…and her soul? She knew, though.  I never could totally fool her.  She knew I existed, even if she didn't know who I was, she always understood something even greater than you controlled every movement made in those duels.  How else do you think the other found the power of Dios, and eventually freed Anthy?  Did you ever think of that you fool?  

            I'm sorry, forgive me.  I don't mean to insult you…yet I have done so much worse.  I destroyed their lives…even worse than you did.  I shouldn't have done that, yet what else could I do?  The only blind spot in Anthy's life was you…I think she honestly believed you controlled the sun and moon.  I couldn't let her go on like it…it wasn't fair to her.  So I made her even more miserable by stealing her soul and keeping it trapped in a coffin for a very long time…too long…but then, I always fathomed how she would be freed.  You'd already brought the other into this world, when you saved her from dying while living alive…you and Anthy both.  

            The other was not the only one, either…the entire Student Council had long since lived while dead…no longer.  The other did that.  Be proud of her, and keep those fond memories.  The orange-haired girl felt the gentle brush of happiness for the first time in forever…the blue-haired boy loved and lost without bitterness…the red-haired boy learned for the first time how to truly love another and how to truly wish to give up one's life in order to save that loved one.   Each of them found something special, even beyond what you controlled.  The other did that…my special champion.  

            See them?  I know you can.  Stop this nonsense.  I do not wish for you to become like your sister once was.  You cannot.  I refuse to allow it…and I can stop you.  You do not even realize this…but my power is stronger than yours.

            Do you really think Anthy would have left you, had she not regained her soul?  I defeated you.  Anthy sees you for what you truly are…be grateful she is far away.  I did not want you to have to lose, but that was the only way to release her.  The other is stronger than you too…you've always known that.  You made her fall in love with you for the mere sake of trying to stop you…for that, my son, I had no choice.  Your punishment was clear…lose the woman you love and rely on.  The other you loved…you didn't have to…I always meant her for Anthy, not you…your anguish over losing them both is your own fault.    
            Yet…it is also mine…I could have stopped you from wanting the other…but I chose to take the easy way out…and so your suffering is mine.  

            Oh, if you'd only understood…at least as much as Anthy…you wouldn't have gone through as much…but you didn't…neither you nor the Student Council.  The red-haired and green-haired boys followed your example of self-gratification, and the yellow-haired girl understood nothing of what the duels were about, not even what her brother explained to her…she could not.  The blue-haired boy was kind…why did you use him?  He at least had human tendencies on the conscious level…how many of your other pawns can say the same?  The orange-haired girl needed her dream to be real in order to go on…which is why I gave it to her, as much as I could…through the other.  My champion helped so many of your pawns…I am so proud of her…I cannot help but be proud of what she's accomplished…so many helped by her.  I shall protect the one who used to hang on her and who loved the green-haired boy…she deserves it.  Deep in her heart, she shall always know about the other, and I do not want her to be unhappy because of it.

            I do not wish for your unhappiness either…either then or now…but you must understand that Anthy had to be freed.  If only you'd listened to the shadows…they understood.  You did not, so you should have listened…you could have prevented your own destruction if you only had.  

            I know you need her…need them, but they have gone far beyond your reach…to a place you will never reach.  I know that, and it saddens me beyond belief.  I wished for your happiness…instead I caused your destruction.  What kind of mother does that make me?  I wonder…obviously not a good one.  

            Perhaps I shouldn't have left you when I did…yet I had no choice.  Someone whose power is great took me before I was ready.  That remains the reason for why I first lingered where I did not belong.  Later, the reason changed to what I saw you, my son, and my beautiful daughter turning into…I couldn't let you destroy her.  I did all I could to prevent that…even though my methods were ruthless and cruel as yours.  In the end, all that I saved proved worthy of it.  The other demonstrated time and time again her worth…the red-haired boy showed how he could love…and so much more than that, they were freed…freed from the limitations which _you bestowed upon them.  Anthy, the other, the green, yellow, blue, and orange-haired ones burst free…the red-haired one's too-much freedom curbed…you have lost them all my son…and you know it.  I sorrow for all that you have gone through…but I wouldn't take back one single action I took to release them.  I couldn't…not without utterly destroying all of you.  In the end, I traded your life away for all of theirs…perhaps I should not have done that, but I did…nothing will ever change that.  _

            I chuckle softly.  The irony gets me…there you are, the great Akio, manipulating everyone and everything…never suspecting that you yourself are being manipulated.  You of all people should have known.  You did things you never would have otherwise.  You certainly wouldn't have seduced the red-haired boy if I hadn't driven you to…or would you have?  Maybe I am giving you virtues I shouldn't…perhaps you would have gone after him, just for the fun of it…maybe not…I don't know.  I haven't known you for a long time.  Yet I have used you, far more than you have ever used anyone…you've never taken anyone's soul.

            You're looking out the window now.  Do you expect to see them?  You won't.  My precious champion is far beyond your reach now, and Anthy is following her heart and my guidance.  And you can't follow them…that hurts doesn't it?  The two people you used and loved the most are gone…almost as though they never existed.  You'll never see them again.  

            Ahh…you see the others, your pawns…that hurts too.  All of them friends, getting along, also beyond you…not as much as the other two…but still…their self-discovery after the duel called Revolution…they finally looked beyond the universe you'd set for them and saw themselves as they truly were…not clouded by you and your games.

            I see you look towards Anthy's greenhouse…not really hers at all…but so much of her a part of it.  You have no idea how much of her…and you…are a part of the greenhouse.  You've never known the true reason why she was drawn to the greenhouse, have you?  Of course not, you'd never suspect…but do you remember your mother's fondness for roses? You probably don't even remember me…I've been gone for so long, and you are so different.

            "Anthy," you sigh.

            She's gone.  She's gone and she's never coming back.  You'll never see her again.

            "Utena…"

            Thank god, she's out of your reach now.  You'll never see her either.

            Don't, my son, don't hang your head in defeat.  That's not like you.  Don't become like Anthy…but you will…I have taken your soul from you as easily as I took hers…and yours will never be retrieved.  It is inside the other.  Dios lives within her.  You and he will never again be one…my heart bleeds from that…but I will never back down.  You do not deserve to have your soul returned.  My heart cries out in anguish, but it is truth.  You will live out your life as a soulless shell, for that is the choice you made…though you knew not that you were making that choice…you made it all the same, and there is no going back.

            You walk back to the window…you continue your watch over the greenhouse.  I hear the shadows whispering again…you look around…you can hear them?  You actually listen, now, when it's too late?  I see you understand them…oh, my son, my son, why couldn't you have listened before?  You might have saved yourself the anguish of this moment…you know everything now…you understand it all…oh, my son…what have I done…what have I done…

            "Mother…"


End file.
